"Someday I'll Shoot Somebody Famous" - Tony Slattery from The Cambridge University Footlights Revue 1982

Sitting all alone on my bed in my bedsit
Staring at the bullets on the floor
Magazine women all over the walls
And a bullseye on the door

Open my suitcase, take my pick
Squeeze on the trigger, feel the hammer go click

I'm going to shoot somebody famous
I'm going to shoot somebody big
I smile at the picture of John on the wall
So many to go George, Ringo and Paul
I'm going to shoot somebody...dead

Photographs of famous people strewn all around me
Just a blindfold and a pin so I can choose
Politicians laughing at me through the camera
But I am their judge and I accuse

I fix the time, I fix the place
Just need the courage, to show the world my face

Staring at my fists as I sit in the darkness
Waiting for the hour I fear is right
I'm just about to leave when I begin to cry softly
Someday I swear I'll go but not tonight

Close up my suitcase, begin to wait
So many people, so many people to hate

Someday I'll shoot somebody famous
Somday I'll shoot somebody big
I've got to do better than shoot the Pope
Assassinate God, it's my only hope
Someday I'll shoot somebody...dead.

Whose Line Is It Anyway ROCKS!!

ANYway I came across a video of the Cambridge Footlights Revue 1982 and there is a clip of Tony Slattery singing a song about shooting someone big dead - serious song and even though he isn't the world's best singer the emotion he puts into it is amazing - you can actually see tears in his eyes!! If you come across this video then I recommend you watch it - it also includes Emma Thompson, Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie, Paul Shearer and Penny Dwyer.

Lola - Freak Golf Accident

(WLIIA/Game: Doo Wop)
(Sung and Created by: Chip Esten, Wayne Brady and Colin Mochrie)

Ooh's and Aah's etc throughout song

Now here's a girl I didn't know too good
She hung out on the weekends with Tiger Woods
Poor Lola she's taking a nap
Over by the green and the sand tra-ap

Well I knew a girl and her name was Lola
She was just walking by the fourteenth hole-a
But now she's dead
I tied a list right on her head

Right on her heaaaad

Oh Lola, how could you die on me,
After you got me through puberty?
Didn't you know, the golf score?
Why didn't you duck when you heard them shout FOUR?!

Lola, I miss you, I miss you
Oh LOLA
I'm tired, I'm tired
Oh LOLA
Died with a nine-iron
Oh LOLA
LOOOOOOLAAAAAA

GRAB MY POLLEN
(Game: Greatest Hits)
(Sung and Created by Wayne Brady and Brad Sherwood)

Wayne: White

Brad: Red

Both: Pink

Well I'm just a little flower / I don't know what I'm aimin / I got a pistol and look at me I've got a real shaply stamen / Bee's are always coming round
(pollennnn)
trying to get my pollen / But they don't all see, all my petals they have fallen / They want my
(Pollennnnnnnnn! x2)
They want my
The pollen, they want it, they're gonna get it baby / Ooooooh
Pollen
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeaaaaaahhhhhhhh
YeaaahDid you understand
Understand
How bees carry pollen
Carry pollen
They put in little sacks on their legs
They put it in little sacks on their legs
On their leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegs..........put it on their legs

NIROSHI
(Game: Song Styles)
(Sung and Created by Brad Sherwood)

I don't know what to do
I'm failing out of..political science...Niroshi
I don't know what to say
But let's us two go away to france, and sail on the rive gauche
Niroshi
Let's cook some brioche
Niroshi
I'll put on some sun tan lotie
Niroshi, I love you
It's true, I really do
I wanna sail across the seven seas, and the pacific oshie
Niroshi, Oooohhhhhh
Why! couldn't you have an easy rhyming name
Oh why! I'd have an easier time in this game
Niroshi, we're so closey
Niroshi, I love you

DIANA

(Game: Doo Wop)

(Sung and Created by Wayne Brady, Chip Esten and Colin Mochrie)

(Constant oooh's and bebop's etc throughout song)

Wayne: Red

Chip: Green

Colin: Purple

All: White

About Diana, where do I begin? / She lived her life right behind the pins / She was smart, she wasn't dumb / Until she got stuck in the thing where the air comes from

She lived so happy there in Indianna / That kooky lady we call Diana / She was a bit of a nutter / She met her sad death in the gutter

In the gutter

Diana you're dead, my little pet / Unlike the pins you cannot be reset / You're dead, I'm having a fit / You should have been spared but now you've split

Diana......Diana....Oh, why did she goooo??

Why did she goooooooo!!

WELCOME!

Hello all and welcome to my Lyrics Archive.

This website if for me to post any lyrics I feel like posting, as and when I feel like posting them.

Peace, love and harmony
xx


DISCLAIMER: I will not copy lyrics from other websites without their express permission or without stating what website I got them from. Any lyrics on here are my interpretation of what I heard so there are bound to be a few mistakes! - correct me when I'm wrong please and save the red face!!